Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Addiction, Friend or Foe

I have been thinking about addiction.  This is such a powerful word these days.  There are so many things that you can be addicted to, its mind bogging. Here is a though for you, how do you give up one addiction, without becoming addicted to something else? 

If you give up smoking cigarettes, you eat, thus becoming addicted to food. You no longer crave nicotine, but now you crave, Twinkies. Now that you are twenty pounds heavier, and you still cant breath, because the weight you put on, you go to the gym. Now you are a Zumba junkie. You have to go at least three times a week, and so on and so forth.....  Where does the vicious cycle end?

Now that the gym don't fulfill you like it use to, you turn to your old stand by, shopping!! I know people who shop because they have nothing better to do with their time. I shop mostly of necessity, but I love a good free for all sometimes. Then when you have too much stuff, they call you a hoarder. So on and so forth..... no end in sight.

Now that you have too much stuff, you are fat free, nicotine free, food free, and broke, you turn to the last thing that is still legal, sex. If you have a spouse, they will get sick of you. Boyfriends will leave you, your wife, yeah she is going to put sleeping pills in your food and hide the Viagra. Spouses will sleep on the couch just to get away from you. Next thing you know you have a life time membership to AdamandEve. com.  We are reaching desperation at this point.

No matter what you are addicted too, there's a pill for it. Then you become a pill addict. Then you have to go to rehab and start smoking all over again to beat the withdrawals you are going to have. Circle complete.  

I have to quit smoking, and I am losing weight. I am so afraid that if I quit smoking, I will want to eat. I thought about other things I could do besides smoke and eat. I came up with a short list,  so here goes, please feel free to laugh if you do this.

1. 10 jumping jacks
2. Wash your dishes, even if they are clean.
3. Start going through your cloths, now that you are a hoarder.
4. Read an article on how to stop hoarding.
5. Send a dirty text to your spouse or other half. (done this one)
6. Walk outside and scream at the top of your lungs.(cough up one from all the smoking you did)
7. Drink a glass of water.(then piss like a race horse later, kills another craving, two birds, one stone)
8. Gum or mints, you need to put something in your mouth besides a cigarette.(get your mind out of my gutter, I'm already there)
9. Empty out your junk drawer.(you might find a cigarette hidden there, and it will taste nasty)
10. Go for a walk, clear your head, get some exercise and breath fresh air. (no sarcasm needed here, its a good idea)

No matter what you think you are addicted to, there is always another addiction waiting to take its place. If you give up coffee, don't replace it with Pepsi. If you give up cookies, don't replace it with potato chips.  Just remember, if you cant laugh at yourself, Laugh at me, everyone else does.