They Don't Hire Old People

Ever since I lost my job back in November, I have been on a quest to find the right job for me.  I have applied to numerous places to no avail. Due to the current economy, and lack of jobs in my area, I got to thinking about why it is so hard for me to find a job. 

I have a pleasant personality, I am a hard worker, like people(most of the time) Pretty much have a happy go lucky attitude. I can rock an interview, tell them everything they want to hear, but employment has eluded me. So what is it that make me unemployable? Then it hit me like a ton of Depends.  They don't hire old people.

I would like to go back into the restaurant business, love to wait on tables and talk to people, but you cant bounce a quarter off my ass or stomach. All they see is someone that has to run to the bathroom every 30 minutes. (not saying me,but...) 35 years of experience does not go very far if you don't look young.  Not a size 4 anymore, and this day and age, if you are not a size 2, you are fat. Strike One.

I have skills with a computer, not up to date on all applications, but I can learn. Still, they see the age and "Sorry, we are not hiring right now" as the 25 year old, thin, attractive, bouncy and bubbly sweet girl with no work experience walks out with my job. I'm not bitter about this, just baffled a bit.(okay I might be a little bitter) Strike Two.

It seems the only job people my age are hired for is fast food and Walmart greeters. I could cashier somewhere, or become the lunch lady(skinny legs, mushroom top) Either way it is hard for someone my age to find a job.  Don't these people know that age is a matter of mind, if you don't have a mind, age don't matter.

Now being older has its advantages. All my children have grown up and moved out of my house. Hence, no need to hire a babysitter. I don't have to go to parent teacher conferences, no sick days, no phone calls to come get my kid. (My kids are going though that now with theirs) (right now I am laughing hysterically)  I don't have to find someone to take my kids if I need to go out of town for something.  I am a prime commodity to have, yet still no job.

I want to start and employment agency that only works with the older work force.  This way I will have a job and help other people my age find jobs. The pitch will be, Why hire a young person you have to train for 8 week when you can have an old person who you can train for 4 weeks, and most likely will die before you have to lay them off.  Only kidding.(kinda sorta) 

A job is a job, that's what I use to tell people when they bitch about their jobs. I am at the point were I am almost desperate to find a job.(I am bored out of my skull at this point)  I need to be around people other than my husband and mother-in-law, and if you ever have lived with your mother-in-law you know what I am talking about.(homicidal don't cover it) I love my kids but I don't want to hang with them. I would just end up hanging with the grandkids.(not a bad thing) 

So here is to my quest to find an employer that will see that hiring an older person will only benefit them. And if that don't work, I may end up in a life a crime. (white collar of course, I may be old, but I am not an idiot or have dementia)  To all you older people out there, it is time to unite and kick the young people out of our jobs. (or just kick their asses, experience has its advantages) 

Just remember folks, Laugh at me, everyone else does. TTFN 

How Drunk Do You Get?

Have you ever wondered where some of the sayings we use come from?  I was talking to a friend the other day and he said something about how drunk he was at 17 yrs old.  It got me thinking about all the saying there are about being drunk. Here's just a few that I found funny.
Knocked down, dragged out drunk.  Now if I really think about it. Some guy was so drunk, he was knocked down and dragged out by his feet. I would pay good money to see that happen.
Shit faced must have come from the south and cowboys. Some cowboy got so drunk, he fell face first into horseshit. Then the rest of the cowboys wouldn't let him live it down.  
Drunker than a skunk. Where the hell did this come from, I have no clue about this one. How drunk do skunks get? Just wondering.
Three sheets to the wind.  I have heard this one, but never really got it. Do you need to be hung out to dry with the sheets. 
Drank myself stupid. If you intended to get that drunk, you were already stupid. If you didn't plan it that way, your still stupid.
This one put me on the floor when my friend said it. Snot slinging, kamode hugging drunk.  Is that where you are so drunk you cant even blow your nose, and think the toilet is your lover?  
I drank myself straight. Does that mean that you were crooked to begin with, or you were having a sexual identity crisis?  That one can go either way. (yes the pun was intended)
Drinking her pretty.  If you are at the bar and you need to get that drunk to get laid, there is probably a good reason you are not getting laid sober. 
Piss drunk, do you smell like piss or have you had so much you have to piss, or did you just piss yourself.
So I was wondering, is it really necessary to get that drunk. Don't get me wrong, I have had my drunken moments, I am sure I have used one of those statements on occasion. Now that I am older and wiser when it comes to drinking, I have come to the conclusion, if you are going to get that drunk, as long as you are not driving and you are in the privacy of your own home. You can get as shit faced, snot slinging, kamode hugging, knocked down dragged out drunk as you want to be.  I will be getting drunk at least once this summer, sitting by the fire pit, with my hubby. And again, don't drink alcohol and drive, and Laugh at Me, Every One Else Does.